In a move that ensures "victims" of Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme will be fairly compensated, Congress today approved the creation of a new "zero dollar bill" which will bear the face of former President George W. Bush. The new bill, which will be printed on recycled paper with high security ink refined from the blood of small Iowa children, ensures that every American will have plenty of money to carry around with them during these troubled economic times.

The back face of the bill will feature artwork by Jeff Koons entitled "Recession, what recession?" depicting Dick Cheney surrounded by virgins in the Muslim paradise. Koons will be compensated roughly $100 million dollars for his contribution to the design of the new monetary instrument.

The legislation governing the creation of the new zero dollar bill includes suggested terminology for the criminal vernacular. Where the term "Benjamins" is used to describe $100 bills, "Bushie" will be used to describe the zero denomination. As in, "I rolled up on that fool with a mutual fund flush with high yield sub-prime mortgage futures and all he wanted to invest was a fistful of Bushies."

Labels: satire