USA Today reports that due to the depressed economy, business is down at the Shady Lady Ranch in Las Vegas, NV. And, as a result, the state licensed brothel plans to add male prostitutes to it's menu of services.

Shady Lady Ranch owner Bobbi Davis said she had already interviewed several highly-qualified candidates for the new position, including Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer and Rod Blagojevich.

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On the anniversary of the massacre at Tiananmen square, Chinese foreign minister Qin Gang has blocked Internet access to youtube, Flickr and Facebook.

Minister Gang justified the censorship by explaining Chinese government officials had been overwhelmed by Add Friend requests from from Hirrary Crinton.

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A bomb in Afghanistan killed 3 American soldiers this past week.

I think we can all agree that's a small price to pay to keep the cost of gasoline at $3.00 gallon.

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Authorities from Air France discovered wreckage from Flight 447 which disappeared over the Atlantic Ocean last week. Among the discoveries are two bodies and a briefcase containing a ticket confirmed to be associated with a passenger from the flight.

While French authorities believe there are no survivors, the rumors in Hollywood say survivors of Flight 447 will appear on The Island in the final season of LOST, only to die again after their usefulness to Benjamin Linus has been exhausted.

Somebody had to write that one. It might as well be me.

Labels: lack of daily variety, topical jokes, two-liners