The biological warfare division of the U.S. Army reports that 9,200 vials of deadly germs and toxins have been misplaced.

Among the missing vials are 24 containers of deadly swine flu labeled... OK, well, maybe they weren't labeled.

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NASA plans to launch the first Apollo mission in 30 years in attempt to find ice on the moon.

If the probe returns with lunar ice samples, the NASA engineers plan to restock the office refrigerator.

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Authorities in South Dakota have begun using specially trained dogs to sniff out cellphones and tobacco.

Because there's nothing that says criminal activity more than the contents of President Obama's pockets.

Labels: topical jokes, two-liners