Starting Monday, June 22nd, the Wall Street Journal will begin publishing under a new name, The Cupertino Financial Ledger.

Said Robert Thomson, editor of the former Wall Street Journal, "It was time to change the masthead to reflect the changes in the economy. America is tired of hearing bad news from Wall Street. But they really love the daily happy report from 1 Infinite Loop. And while it was once true that New York banks once held the bulk of our nation's financial resources, most of that capital has been on deposit at Apple for some time. And Walt Mossberg isn't helping any."

The truth is, many Americans are now using Apple's direct deposit service, which allows them to apply the balance of their hard-earned paychecks directly to their iPhone bill, buy Apple stock or to simply "lay-away" for whatever the next neat new Apple gizmo will be. For most Americans, food, electricity and gasoline are now considered luxury items, while iPods, iPhones and iPhone apps are the new essentials.

As part of a cost-cutting measure, the publishing giant plans to move its offices closer to Cupertino, to a new facility in Guadalajara, Mexico.

Angry WSJ New York City employees arrived en masse in Cupertino this morning to protest the changes and to complain about the quality of bagels in Silicon Valley. Many of the protestors were seen hurling wads of hundred dollar bills onto the grass at the Apple corporate campus as they begged for early access to iPhone 3Gs handsets. So much, in fact, the groundskeepers were having a difficult time keeping the lawns clear of extra cash.

Sources close to the publishers said the 110 year old newspaper had also considered the name Mountain View Pay-Per-Click Herald, but chose The Cupertino Financial Ledger after the Google phone failed to spark.

Labels: satire